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tasnimsmentalroadtrip:

All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary

this is so true….All the pain is temporary

Starting over

I’m gonna take a shot at starting over . I wanna start being more positive and stop worrying so much and going thru the what ifs all the time . I’m more than Bipolar . I’m an Illustrator and a writer and I’m going to be a new mom and I’m happy about that now. I can still follow my dreams and I will make it . I’m 27 and maybe I’m not 21 or a teen but I’m not 80 yrs old either . My life isn’t over It’s just starting and if I keep wallowing in my sorrow and depression and allowing myself to drown in my bipolar disorder I will never ever feel alive. I know I’m gonna have bad days because I am sick but I have to make a change. It starts today. 

Tumblr is honesty

I go on Facebook all the time and if you saw my page you’d think I wasn’t the same person from tumblr. My Facebook talks about how friggin happy I am and how much I enjoy life. It’s like Facebook is the biggest disguise. …the biggest lie. Honestly I wish I never existed. And tonight I just feel like I wanna die. The end.

Just to relax

I miss nature. I’ve never seen the ocean just trees. I wanna go lay in the sand on the beach and look at the waves while sipping on a nice cool drink. I don’t want to worry about bills, and time, bipolar and ptsd demons, or the pain in my stomach from being pregnant. I wanna hear the ocean waves and the sound of seagulls near by. And at night I wanna see the reflection of the stars on the ocean. ..maybe take a jog or walk alone on the beach or with my significant other. I just want this joy. That’s like my only wish, my only goal I have in life now……is just to relax.

I think the hardest thing I’m struggling with is the fact that I realize none of my dreams I’ve always had as a child and the same ones I’ve had as an adult will never come true and its even more so now that I’m about to be a mom. I feel disappointed in myself, life, and God. Disappointed in myself because no matter how hard I tried at anything I still never succeeded. Life because of the one that God gave me…..including the bi-polarity of it, and God because it seems as if I have always been forgotten about…like many other ppl who are forgotten about.

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